With great sadness FAIR announces that a founding member of FAIR, Harven Ng, passed away on December 23 after a brave fight with cancer. His wife Nancy and all thirteen of their children were able to be with him, which was a great comfort to everyone.
Harven was a great friend and advocate for all children, and a devoted father and husband. Always willing to help with the work of FAIR, Harven's talents and can-do attitude were a gift to all who worked with him. Please hold Nancy and the children and grandchildren in your thoughts and prayers.
Click here to read the Ng's letter to FAIR.
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Recollections
of Harven Ng, by
December
27, 2004
I
fondly remember Harven at FAIR activities over many years:
He was always unflappable, as far as I could tell!
I can
picture him:
Arriving at Brannan Island Campground with a van full of Ng’s, and equipment
piled high. He pulled up, unloaded
everyone, and then calmly had the KIDS set up camp BEFORE running off to play!
I can
picture him:
Spending hours at the jig saw in his garage cutting out hundreds, maybe
thousands, of people-colored paper dolls representing all of the foster children
in the
I can
picture him:
Setting up hundreds of chairs and tables each year for FAIR’s LNY Party, and
then spending most of the afternoon barbequing bulgogi for everyone, rain or
shine.
I can
picture him:
Dressed in a well-padded Santa suit cajoling the shy FAIR kids onto his knee and
deftly capturing the fast-moving ones.
I can
see him:
Settling in for many a late night session at the dining room table, doing the
work of FAIR after the little kids were in bed– typing, editing, formatting,
and calligraphing – whatever needed to be done.
I can
see him:
Advocating eloquently in
Finally,
the image of Harven that most easily comes to mind is a simple one that
represents his unselfish, can-do, never-discouraged attitude I so admired.
I
picture Harven in his baseball cap, t-shirt and shorts, holding a coffee mug,
with a twinkle in his eye, saying confidently, “sure I can do that, no
problem.”
Thanks,
Harven.
There are more tributes over here: http://www.legacy.com/MercuryNews/Guestbook.asp?Page=Guestbook&PersonID=2961933
I think we first met the Ng family about 17 years ago and I remember Harven as working, working,working but smiling. This picture captures the picture I have in my mind of Harven. Smiling. Taking life as it comes. Doing what needed to be done. A powerful, hard working presence. He was a role model. Never loud. Always doing! I can't imagine him not being there and believe his spirit will always be. Overseeing the bulgogi, teaching the kids how to bow, participating in The Lion Dance. And smiling! Loving his family. Being there in another way for Nancy and their kids. Hanging in there! Harven was a rare person that many could and can learn from. FAIR is a family and part of that feeling is due to the Ng's. They are examples of what family is about. Families forever. With many wonderful thoughts and prayers we thank you Harven for what you did for our family. Sincerely, Kim, Brian, Morgan, and Spencer Taylor
When we first adopted about twenty years ago, the Ngs were our mentors and inspiration. We learned a lot about being parents from them and we could not have made it through all these years and three children without their wise support. We will miss Harven's energy and commitment to all adopted children and families, and we will miss his smiling face at all the FAIR events. Keith and Pat Ford
My prayers are with you Nancy and your family. "Oh taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the person who trust in Him" Psalm 34:8 Phyllis Stevens Together as Adoptive Parents, Inc.
This was a great spirit whose presense inspired many; created a strong and highly respected support group; and parented a group of inspired and inspiring children. My love of the two children I got to know best, Min Ji and Min Yung, gave me a glimps of the impact of this man on others. May his soul be at peace and his presence live on for many generations. Sharon Roszia
Many years ago I watched Harven Ng enter a room of rag tag parent group leaders from all over California. He was one of us. We compared, commiserated, lamented (and even laughed) at the difficulties of parenting kids who had challenges and kids who challenged. We wanted more kids to have permanence. We wanted more parents to have support. We wanted laws that enabled and funding that provided. We made some progress too. And groups like F.A.I.R. blossomed. And more kids were placed. And more and more people worked towards that advocacy and support of children and of each other. Harven was the rock. The wisdom. The wit. The motivator, and the motivated. He saw the big picture and worked on the pieces of progression step by step. He set a standard in that group for those of us in Northern, Southern, and mid-state California. He worked hard in National arenas too. Those of you who knew him much more personally than I are blessed. But because of his strong example, others were inspired to action and got new ideas. Others accomplished more than they might have. And so many more than you may know were also blessed I'm just one of them. Thanks, Harven. We'll keep on keeping on. But we'll miss ya. Donna Salisbury dsalisbury@sierraadoption.org
To Nancy, Min Ji, Min Jung and the rest of the Ng family, I want to add my heartfelt prayers and sympathy in the loss of your beloved husband and father, Harven. He will be missed by so many, and remembered with fondness especially by those whose lives were touched by his generosity of spirit and the significant work he did on behalf of children and families. Carol Bishop
Harven Ng I remember Harven one day. He was fixing the furnace, sweating, covered with grit. Pliers in hand, he stopped to tell a story. With a fleeting wistful look, he spoke about MinYung new in the family, small, vulnerable but feisty, hiding on her first day of school. Suddenly he turned and barked to shadows of scurrying children, “Go help your mother!” Then he laughed, twinkle of affection in his eye. Behind the scenes or quietly, determinedly in front, Harven lived his years cementing and extending the foundation of his family, his community, the best in his world, forceful, with no call for praise. He responded in the moment of need, were it a public call to action, a hissing furnace, or the cry of a frightened child. Rooted in faith made visible, love in truest form- stripped of illusions of perfection or predictability, his presence has tipped the world just enough to make it see the fierceness of love. tribute by Bonnie Malouf December 2004
The tributes that have been posted, the various images of "Harven smiling" and "Harven and the kids," remind me of when I first met Harven and Nancy and the wonderful role FAIR played in our family. FAIR was still meeting at the Ngs' kitchen table. The Winter Parties with fellow adopted children gave our Korean-born daughter a unique sense of fitting-in, and Harven was a special part of that. At 2 ½ , Jenny came home from the '84 Winter Party and told her dad and me, "Santa Claus gave presents to all the kids with straight hair like me" and she had noticed that Santa Claus himself looked just like her. Harven was Jenny's Santa Claus. Three years later, he became her first publisher, when he took the time to format her article for the FAIR Newsletter exactly as she had submitted it: in her best printing, on the lined paper of a Kindergartner, with her own drawings. Harven's energy and commitment will endure as we continue to pursue the goal of a permanent loving family for every child...it's only FAIR. Harven, thank you for being part of our lives, Lorraine, Mike & Jenny Antonucci
No one could light up a room faster with a smile-- Harven was my first calligraphy instructor some twenty five years ago. I only hoped to be somewhat as proficient as he was,he was a true master!!! Our lives crossed for many years with our children and I was a true admirer of his and Nancy's dedication and love for each child in their wonderful family. With love, Sharon Cooper
Nancy and Family, Our sincere sympathy to you Nancy and family, from the NACAC family. When I think of Harven, I think of the NACAC conferences as well as the Adoptive Families of America conferences and see Nancy and Harven...wondering how many of the family will be with them at the conference; packed in the van and stuffed into the hotel room! You have always been such a presence and role model to the rest of us. Thank you for your contribution to families, children, and the adoption journey! Harven, you will be missed. Diane Martin-Hushman MSW Parent Group Coordinator North American Council on Adoptable Children (NACAC)
More than once as we have raised our children we called "help" to the Ngs. Harven's advice always came with a twinkle in his eye, showing the love he had for children despite the many challenges of being a parent. At campouts, Lunar New Years parties and ice-skating parties, Harven was always there supporting FAIR families. We will certainly miss his quiet patience and humor. Fred, Patricia, Bryant and Alanna Evans.
Nancy -- You are in our thoughts and prayers...from everyone here at NACAC. Jeanette Wiedemeier Bower
A giant lately walked the land, his footsteps soft as solace; his stride would span the space from middle school to Harvard Yard; from Broadway south to Missus Sip; from towers twinned to Golden Gate; from Gotham's City Hall to Agra's Taj Mahal; from Vietnam to Africa, Korea and Japan; the Chinese Wall to Thailand, too, and yet he left no mark -- except within our hearts. His goodness streaked across the skies like screaming jets, and yet to our poor eyes, his deed so writ for all to see would quick as contrails fade. "Ah, yes," we'd say. "How nice!" and take ukp again our mundane lives. Is there no monument to him? No gardens hung, nor temple grand, nor statue great, nor lighthouse tall, nor pyramids, nor figure bronzed, nor even mausoleum to fix his special place? But no ediface from hand of man is half so splendidly arrayed as is this band of angels, gowned in grief -- seraphim and cheribum -- whom gathered he from distant lands as gather they from him today. We will not see his like again.
Dear Harven, We will be attending the annual Lunar Festival party this year and will definitely miss your physical presence! You leave a most wonderful legacy in your children and we wish we had told you *last year* how fortunate we have been to know your family. Our sincerest sympathies and best wishes to Nancy, the children, grandchildren, and your families. And, our thanks to all of you for always extending such warmth to others. With warmest regards, Bruce, Liz, Zia Moore