The following letter were written by birthmothers at Ae Ran Won Maternity Home in Korea. The first appeared in FOCUS ON FAMILIES, March 1990, the newsletter of North Texas Families for Adoption. The response was written by a FAIR teen.

"My Dear ChildÖ"

Letters from Korean Birthmothers

My dear baby,

The more I thought about you, the more I knew that adoption was the only way. When I came to that conclusion, I ached all over. I believe that you will be a credit to your adoptive family, more than I was to mine. As the mother who gave you life, I want nothing more than that you grow u to be fine, healthy and smart. God gave you your life and you must learn to love and never to hate. I pray daily for you this prayer:

Dear God, please help my child to grow strong and guide him on the right path. Keep his family too, and give them health and happiness always.

If you live like the evergreen tree, clean and fresh, you will make your parents happy.

Your mother



My Dear One,

I feel happy to be able to write this letter to you. Though I donít have any idea what you look like, I have a feeling that you are a pretty child. Do you have any idea how difficult it is for me, your mother, to write this letter?

I didnít want to let you be adopted. I wanted to raise you, but I was too young and unable to do so. I needed to continue my education, too. As God loves your mother, so do I love you, and it was because I loved you that I was able to give you up. I want you to know haw my heart has ached for you. It is very difficult for unwed mothers to live with their children in Korea. Perhaps in your new home you may have a chance to learn about the culture of Korea and then you may come to understand why it was that I couldnít raise you.

It is all my fault if you feel angry and hurt, and for that I am truly sorry. I want you to know that my love for you will never change and that I pray daily for you the following prayer:

Lord, please guide my child and keep him in your love as he grows in his adopted home. Protect him from evil and keep him on the right path. Whatever he is, wherever he goes, keep him always in your loving care. Grant him health and guide his every step. I leave him in your loving care. Amen.

Even though you might like to see me, I know that it is best for you to be with your parents who love you. When you grow up to be a man, I pray that you will be able to do whatever it is you have your heart set on. I will never forget you. But, letís not be sad, as someday we will beet in heaven. Please pray for me as I pray for you.

Your Mother


Dear Birthmother,

Thank you for writing to me. It means a lot to me. I am sorry that you were unable to take care of me, but I live with a great family. I have brothers and sisters and mother and father who love me very much.

I have often wondered why you put me up for adoption but I am beginning to realize that you did it in my best interest. Sometimes I feel angry and sad, but I know that you too have shared much pain. Many times when I think of you I wonder if you look like me and if you have other children. I hope someday when I am older we can meet each other. Thank you for not forgetting me and for giving me the gift of life.

Love, Your Child

Keywords :
  personal experiences : birthmother's perspective
  birth family contacts : birthmother's perspective