Sometimes I Have A Hard Life

Boy, age 9

When I came to the family I was five and I was angry. I was angry at my mom Ďcause I didnít know her and my other mom burned me. I was afraid this mom was going to hurt me too. I felt so angry I just wanted to run around and punch people and act crazy.

Marcie (my social worker) told me I was going to have a new family. She said there were lots of people. She showed me some pictures of them. I asked her if they were going to hurt me. She said no. I believed her a little but I was still afraid.

My foster mom took me to the park to meet my family. I thought my family was OK. I put my life book on the table and met my new social worker. She was nice. I didnít know who was my mom and who was my social worker. I was pretty scared. I thought my mom might burn me. I met my brothers Ė they were nice. I played with Kevin on the swing. They couldnít understand me cause I couldnít talk very well. I met my dad and he let me wear his watch. I liked that.

The next day my family came to get me at my foster home. I didnít like that foster mom Ďcause she used to spank me and stuff Ď cause she thought I was always bad in school. I felt very angry inside. I want to go and I didnít want to go. But I had to.

When we came home the house was dark Ďcause all the curtains were closed. That was scary. My mom read me the sign in the window that said "Welcome Chris" but I didnít know what that meant. Now when I look at the pictures I understand.

I was feeling scared. My mom let me sit on her lap and rocked me. Sometimes she read my lifebook to me and Kevin Ė I liked that. When I went to bed I sucked my fingers to feel better.

Now I feel a little happy. I know this family wonít hurt me. But Iím still angry at them Ė sometimes Iím, angry at everybody. Sometimes when my mom is angry at me Iím scared sheíll burn me even if I know she wonít. Sometimes I have a hard life.

  personal experiences : child's perspective
  behavior : emotional reasons for behaviors
  emotions and development : emotional reasons for behaviors
  family : older child adoption
  family : realistic expectations